There's almost nothing scarier than when, with seemingly infinite resources, no one can figure out what's physically wrong with me. I spent most of last night in the ER for the second time this year. An ultrasound was done, blood was taken, samples of the less delightful parts of myself were retrieved, and a C-T scan was done. Nothing. They gave me a bunch of generic answers and sent me home.
Then they called me and I discovered what's scarier than not knowing which, of course, is finding out that there might be something severely wrong with me. They think I have Chron's Disease which is an autoimmune disorder for which there is no cure. I'm waiting to hear from a gastrointerologist as to whether or not I should be admitted to the hospital or if I should wait until Monday for more tests.
There's nothing I can say right now. I can't breath and I can't stop crying.
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11 comments:
Well hopefully your ailments are temporary and just caused by a period of stress.
Try and stay focused on the positive things and hopefully they will all come your way. Here's hoping the best for your health and future.
Awww, Bitsy. *hug*
I know a couple of people with Chron's and while it's not fun, they do manage to lead full and active lives for the most part.
And like Teri said - maybe it's not. Keep us updated.
Bitsy,
my name is Mari, i'm a friend of both teri's and liz's (khyri) and i've been living with crohns for years. as liz says, it is not fun, and there are a lot of variables, but the good news is, once they decided that it is actually crohns they may well be able to help you live with it more normally. my life is pretty normal, and most people dont know i have crohns unless i tell them.
if you ever want to talk about it with someone my email is marilvgrl@yahoo.com.
all the best, and there with you,
mari
I'm sure you've googled your heart out on Crohn's, but here's an excerpt from: http://digestive.niddk.nih.gov/ddiseases/pubs/crohns/
(also has links to Crohn’s & Colitis Foundation of America - www.ccfa.org)
I definitely suggest sharing this with your family, so they know how important decreasing the stress in your life will be to your health. Maybe they will at least back off for the sake of your health around this issue!
Just my 2 cents.
Tracey Ledel, RN
"Can stress make Crohn’s disease worse?
There is no evidence showing that stress causes Crohn’s disease. However, people with Crohn’s disease sometimes feel increased stress in their lives from having to live with a chronic illness. Some people with Crohn’s disease also report that they experience a flare in disease when they are experiencing a stressful event or situation. There is no type of person that is more likely to experience a flare in disease than another when under stress. For people who find there is a connection between their stress level and a worsening of their symptoms, using relaxation techniques, such as slow breathing, and taking special care to eat well and get enough sleep, may help them feel better."
Oh poor chicken :( Hospitals are never fun and it sounds like you're in a bit of shock, as well as feeling sick, which *always* makes things feel worse. Damn these computers and their inability to transmit the hugz!
The important thing right now is to remain calm. You *must* remain calm. Now go to the mirror. Go to the mirror and focus. Look at your eyes. Are you looking? Now concentrate... Observe the fear. Note the vulnerability. Remember this. Remember how it looks. Remember how it feels.
Because you need to be able to pull this face on command every time your mother walks into the room so you can milk as much parental guilt out of this as possible to make her your emotional slave. You milk it girl. You milk it like a dairy farmer.
Hope that made you smile a bit. :)
at least the male nurse was hot...that was a plus. we finally figured out the whole ronson mystery and i got to play with your hospital bed. you looked super-cute in your gown and the new haircut is so wonderful.
just try to stay calm until you're solidly diagnosed. until then, i will be around for hugs till tomorrow.
p.s - that was the best dr. who episode...EVAR.
p.p.s - i love you!!!
Thanks for the update. Sorry to hear they think it's Chron's. That's tough. And whenever someone says "no cure" I always think "yet". Yeah, I have this thing about framing stuff as optimistically as possible. There are no empty glasses - just glasses waiting to be filled :)
If it is Chron's, at least you'll know how to approach it to minimize the impact it has on your life. It does suck. But knowing is the first step to coping. Be strong. Feel better. Sending warm thoughts your way.
My seamstress has Crohn's Disease. She seems to function normally, though there are periods where she can't really do much of anything.
It's better to know that you have it, though. Before my friend was diagnosed, she lost a third of her body weight. It can be very dangerous.
Take care of yourself.
i have 2 friends who were diagnosed with crohn's disease but it turned out not to be crohn's and/or it cleared up on its own eventually.
it may be crohn's, but if your doctor recommends any type of major surgery please please get a 2nd or 3rd opinion first! one of my friends was one day away from having organs removed before she called it off because she felt a little better and was hesitant.
crohn's is real of course but i believe it is very overdiagnosed right now when doctors don't know what is the cause of various symptoms.
i don't want to sound like a broken record, but the body can do terrible things when the brain knows you are in a toxic environment.
You are a survivor Bitsy, you will survive this and it will make you stronger. Plus now maybe you could get preferential treatment in bathroom lines. What lady wouldn't allow you to go ahead of her when you say you have crohns. Now que your battle music you got some disease fighting to do. Put it in its place.
also, with my friend's condition (who almost got the surgery), dairy products severely aggravated it. she was fine drinking milk or eating cheese when younger, but suddenly any dairy products almost send her to the ER.
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