I find it fascinating when two former friends decide they need to justify to me why they were right to drop me as their friend after nine years. Here's a reality check: if you need to justify your actions to me then part of you already knows you're wrong. You don't hear me saying "Hey, guys, let's clear the air" especially after it's been nearly two months of my having to hear second hand all the reasons you think you have the right to pass judgment on me. I am more than the sum of my negative traits. You forgot that I'm a human being. Consider this your reminder.
I was having a nice day too. I thought to myself "Lilly, today is the day we start being a kinder, gentler person to everyone around us. Let's just pretend everyone is an adorable puppy!" and that had me feeling bubbly and cutesy and sweet. Now the sweet has a little tart to it and while I love me some sweet tarts, today was meant to be sweet and sweet alone day.
At first I thought that, since their behavior made no sense, I would not be able to learn or grow from this experience. I did have one of those "The more you know..." moments though. I realized that my being overly emotional doesn't preclude my ability to know when it's time to walk away from an abusive situation. My heart got a little harder but my demeanor got softer, squishier, and more huggable. Putting on a bright face for the world makes me feel warm and cozy. Knowing I won't be fooled so easily into being an emotional doormat again makes me feel strong and independent.
Life is good. Puppies are good. I am good. Yay!
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